The Facebook Addiction

Some classics movies I have seen in this regard, namely Requiem for a Dream, Trainspotting, DevD and suchlike, have conveyed the message only too lucidly for the masses to register one damn thing- Addiction kills. For numbskulls like me, a plain message doesn’t play out until it has been experienced. And though I didn’t get killed, I surely got severely screwed following the over-indulgence.

End –Semester exams- a period of frenzied conversations, nocturnal night out sessions, harried hours of cramming in infinitely boring stuff. In IIT, the LAN BAN timings are extended. From a premature 12 am they now go off at 4 am. The entire hoard of shameless wretches known as IITians would be seen online until the precise moment of epiphany wherein their Antaraatma would shriek, “Saale, thoda to padh le, nahi to kal fail ho jayega…”

Just before the Chemistry exam, I, in an act mirroring my foresightedness and preparedness, gave my Lan Cord away to Farma, knowing extremely well that I possessed no Antar-aatma. Farma was almost in tears, for he knew what the Lan Cord meant to me. He patted my head elder brother-like, and told me, “Your sacrifice shall not go in vain. Tomorrow, the Chemistry paper awaits its molestation by the Boisterous Bissu!”

I went to my room, feeling slightly elated. I was proud of myself for making a decision of this mammoth parameter. I was finally acting the responsible adult. And so pepped up, I opened my laptop, and started perusing the lecture slides.

Half an hour later, my hands of their own accord, manoeuvred the mouse pointer over to Google Chrome and double clicked, making me suspicious if I suffered from the Alien Hand Syndrome. Needless to say, an almost blank page with the words “This webpage is not available” greeted my eyes. Reminding myself that I no longer had the cord, I went back to mugging.

But it was not to be. The thought of any new comment on my status update, any new Liker of the link I had shared, any new gift someone had bestowed on me in Mafia Wars, any new comment on my blog etc. ballooned up in my mind, , making me struggle continuously against thoughts of rebellion. Half an hour later saw me in Farma’s room.

“Oye Farma, I was thinking..umm…would it be possible for you to give me the cord for just a few minutes?”

“Why?”

“Some urgent mails might have come.”

“Urgent mails during end-sems? And whats more urgent than exams?”

“Umm…yeah…I suppose you are right. I will go study.”

10 minutes later…

“Oye Farma, only 2 minutes man. Come on.”

“No chance buddy.”

“Its my fucking lan cord. Giveittome!”

“No.”

“Then I suppose you want your nose bloodied up. Or maybe, several of your teeth bashed in. I am serious. I swear I am gonna hit you. I am gonna fuck you up.”

Here, the annals of the life of the effervescent Farma need to be opened and disclosed to the incognizant readers. This alumnus of a Sainik School, ex-NDA aspirant, player of myriad sports, volleyball Inter-IITian, body not unlike a hunk, looked me calmly in the eye before saying,

“I would love to see you try.”

I gulped, watered my dry lips, before I made any move.

“Farma, you know what, I think you have my best interests in your mind. I think I should really go study now.”

“Good for you.”

20 minutes later…

“Yaar Farma, only 2 minutes yaar…”

“Absolutely not.”

“Hey, you know what? I am gonna do it in front of you, all right? Right here where you can keep an eye on me and wrestle the cord from my grasp once the deadline’s over.”

“No.”

“Please yaar, 1 minute man…”

“Listen, I am doing this for your own good. The paper tomorrow is touted to be one the toughest ones in all our exams. A few more hours of mugging and then you can browse for all eternity man. Just stay put. Everything’s gonna be ok.” He put his hand on my shoulder and patted me. I shrugged it off and went away.

I came back a few minutes later.

“Farma, I have realised my folly. I shall beg you no more. I will go and study with perseverance hitherto unseen elsewhere. My concentration from now on will be the talk of the town…sorry…insti. Thanks buddy, for showing me the right path. I am indeed blessed to have bros like you.”

“I am so proud to hear tha-“ here his voice choked, as he came close to tears for the second time that day, “that…All right, now off you go and study. We are gonna rock this paper!”

2 hours later…

I opened the door in response to the knocking earlier. Farma stood there, grinning ear to ear.

“Kitta mug liya?”

“Well, been through 3 lecture slides, midway through fourth. Will go through the tutorial later.”

“Awesome man. That’s some speed! Good good, keep mugging.”

“Sure man. I will come to your room once the 4th one’s done.”

“Sure. I will be waiting.”

I closed the door behind him as discretely as I could. Even though there was no one, my heart throbbed with a premonition of the unknown. I tiptoed to my bed, and giving a furtive glance around the room, took out the lan cord of my roomie which had been hastily shoved inside the pillow case a moment earlier…

________________________________________________________________

I got raped the following day. Ohh wait, I already have mentioned that, haven’t I?

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18 thoughts on “The Facebook Addiction

  1. Hey thks for writing…
    N thats my story 2..Curntly borrowed my younger brothers cell 2 days back and am doin fb, and reading blogs everywhere be it bus, tempu,metro et al..Serious addiction..before that i was seen with a Novel, classic literature or autobiography and now since i took,err borrowed my bros cell I have actually kept aside ‘The Quran’, I had been reading. And more I am writing this at 1:30 am on a sunday,dont ask doing what……fb the gr8.
    🙂
    And further true you are anxious every second for updates,comments (well nobody does this on my blog 😦 . ) Hope you are not online currently and in real time replying back:)..addiction addiction!:)
    And ur frnd did gr8..bt u r human after all,…Its a weakness..No medication, no doctor can ever solve it…
    Hope u come through well in ur chemistry exams…:)

    1. Lets really hope I dont fail this one. The results will be out in a weeks time.

      Someone really needs to make Facebook less attractive!! 🙂

      1. seriously it is required. We are mingling less with people beside us and talking abroad, though I love it, shouldn’t act like epitaph of facebook everyday.:)

  2. hahahahah my my…i have a similar addiction and i guess many of us have it…well as u can easily see i have my sem paper tom and here i am reading your blog..updating mine…and obv a tab of FB is already open 😀 😀

    1. Hey I too have a paper tomorrow!! Same Pinch!

      And this is a feeling mutually shared by all the facebook fanatics out there!!
      God knows if a murderer grants me one last wish before dying, I would say “EK baar FB ka account check karne do!” 😀

      1. Seriously, “bas ek baar aur”..whts worse have activated those fb msgs and subscribed to everybodys updates…I recieve message every minute…Living hell..and get tempted to comment and reply..I start doing via phone which charges Rs 1.50 per text message…Have 2 remove it but how..
        Tell how 2 get rid of it … 🙂

    1. Well suggestion, but net has other purposes 2…Though i am not using for it..And I will borrow my bros phone if I did,and more often still (which will definitely annoy him)..I am so badly addicted.. 😛

    2. Can you do that..discontinuing net..
      Guess u don’t want to get rid of it…
      Guess I too…wtf..hahaha..
      Will keep the addiction till sometime more..hope I get bore soon…:D

    1. Still dont have it man. Apart from that, the Windows Vista Home Premium crashed harder than United 93 flight.

    1. You aren’t on social networking?

      That is unbelievable, unthinkable, but now as I come to think of it, good for you!

      Though I still wonder how you keep touch with all of your friends frequently.

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